I expect that’s a bit hard to picture so let me fill in a few blanks.

The box was one of those candy fundraiser deals with a built in handle. It was brightly colored and emblazoned with Hershey or Reeses or something. I don’t remember where I got it but it served my purposes very well. And inside the candy box were pages and pages and pages of handwritten notes, and three cassette tapes full of John Williams’ symphonic Star Wars.

It is sixteen years, three prequels, and two animated series later. I don’t know where the box or the notes ended up. I wouldn’t be able to play the cassettes if I found them (do people even know what cassette tapes ARE?). But I still believe in the Star Wars ballet. And now all I need is an iPhone to carry the whole thing around.

But you know what would be even better? Making it happen. Star Wars as a three-act ballet performance. The music already exists. The passion certainly exists. And Queen Amidala won an Oscar for playing a ballerina.

Who’s with me?

*Stan Lee is your free space.

Viking Funeral

If you haven’t realized what I am talking about by now, you’re part of the problem. A wonderful series by Roger Langridge and Chris Samnee filled with whimsy, expert storytelling, and beautiful acting was cancelled in late 2010. Thor: The Mighty Avenger #8 is a fitting swan song for one of the best mini-series of 2010.

We'll always have Paris...

In what is one of the strongest issues of the series, there is a partial wrap-up of the mysteries regarding Thor’s arrival and his subsequent ambush by the Muppets. Unfortunately, due the forced cancellation, what is alluded to and set up in this issue will never reach fruition. Issue #8 introduces Tony Stark to the mix in all of his ascot(ted) glory. (Dear Chris Samnee, I would walk through a tornado uphill to buy just that one page again and again and again.) Grizzled Thor is insanely adorable. His jubilance at life and spoiling for a fight are infectious. The unspoken gestures of Thor won me over completely in this last issue. There is a moment of Thor gesturing grandly to Tony and then nodding which is perhaps two of the best panels in a book of best panels. One person I also wanted to mention was Matt Wilson. His colors add insane depth and make already amazing art amazing(er). All in all, this was a strong issue in an even stronger title.

I know there will be a continuation of the character and the team on Free Comic Book Day, but it doesn’t matter. I want this series to finish its run. I want these creators to tell their insanely well-crafted superhero fairy tale. A combination of poor sales, due to poor marketing led to an amazing book’s demise. The worst part is 1) this is not new, quality series are cancelled regularly & 2) you can potentially prevent forrest fires the situation. If we buy the books, digital and print, and prove that there is an interest, we reap the benefits. I like to think that Marvel has some ultimate design where they will release a trade or a nice hardback with the completed series, but I’m no fool.

In conclusion:

I don't know how to quit you.

I have a slightly huge confession: I only started reading comic books seriously in 2010. I’d dabbled in the genre before, but 1) never really understood how they “worked” and 2) it was mainly within my own fandom. After a hearty shove from a dear friend Abigail and discovering the Fantastic Fangirls, I gave it a shot, and goddamn has it been a rewarding and expensive experience. Starting with, what I now believe to be the best “starter” comic, the Whedon/Cassaday Astonishing X-Men run, I never looked back. Armed with the Marvel wiki for any pesky continuity questions, and an unseemly amount of unused gift cards, I went to bookstore after bookstore and bought omnibus (Marvel) after omnibus (Marvel) to catch up. I poured through them at an astonishing speed. I developed an Avengers boner which I won’t even bother to hide. I’m not saying there are things I missed, I’m sure there were, but put it this way: I was completely caught up by the start of Siege. I’m the goddamned  Batman when it comes to reading Marvel ~events~. That is to say, I haven’t had an emotional healing period, so don’t bring up the death of Steve Rogers. I don’t care if he’s back. I still can’t handle it. Ahem. At any rate, in a few months I morphed into a Wednesday regular at the most AMAZING LCS, Dr. No’s. Cliff, Buck, Jared, and the rest of the friendly staff made shopping for comics a joy. Always on the lookout for something I would like, or holding the last copy of an issue for me until I arrive, is regular behavior for these people. I simply adore them. I would be remiss not to mention two fantastic podcasts, The Comics Podcast (a motley crew of lovable and Wolverine obsessed nerds) and the ubiquitous iFanboy podcasts. Each with its own merits, opinions like assholes abound, and a fun time is had by all.

Onward and upward, friends.

Best Book:

Jim McCann (writer) & Janet Lee (artist)

A stunning mix of art and storytelling, Return of the Dapper Men is a lush fairy tale to be enjoyed by all ages. McCann does an incredible job of world building and creating oh-so-human characters while Lee makes each page a discovery in detail, color, and emotion.

Best Mini:

Avengers: Prime by Bendis & Davis

Haters to the left. Bendis writes the Steve Rogers and Tony Stark of my dreams. This mini, described by Bendis as a “couples  retreat” is nothing but pure fun. Coming directly on the heels of Siege and helping launch the Heroic Age, Prime is a high adventure ride through some majorly effed up realms that cleanses the palate and sets the tone for the coming Heroic Age. Davis’ art sets up several priceless reaction moments and I will be forever indebted to him for the greatest Steve Rogers’ face in the history of ever:

Best Ongoing:

The Invincible Iron Man by Fraction & Larroca

It would be useless to deny it. This was the arc that sealed the deal on comics for me. Before I started reading this, I thought, “Meh, Wednesday.” While reading Stark: Disassembled, I moved towards the, “Wednesday? I fucking LOVE Wednesday, ” state of grace. Understatement of the year: Matt Fraction has a way with words. If that man wrote a book about a giraffe fighting crime, I’d read the hell out of it and nominate him for an Eisner. (STICK YOUR NECK OUT FOR CRIME, BITCHES!) This is one of the few books, that no matter how happy I am, reduces me to a weeping wreck, and I end up eating a bag of oreos like a champ to cope. Larroca continually kills it every damn month presenting a broken man trying to get his swagger back.

Best Arc in an Ongoing:

Black Widow: The Name of the Rose by Marjorie M. Liu and Daniel Acuna

Marjorie M. Liu has an uncanny way of making me care about fictional characters I’ve never given the time of day. Interestingly enough, this was my first exposure to Liu as well as Acuna and from the first panel, I was in love. From the noir-styled art to Natasha’s dog-blind loyalty, they had me at hello. This arc shows Natasha being the best there is at what she does and what she does is beat the ever-living shit out of people in a way that will make you simultaneously fear and fall in love with her. Here’s my big statement: Marjorie gets it.

Best Back-Up:

Nomad by McKeever & Andrade

Without fail, this back-up is one of the things that I eagerly anticipate every month. Rikki Barnes breaks my heart. (Are we noticing a pattern here?) Her unbelievable committment to serving the greater good despite being a homeless, orphaned teen in an alternate universe and losing her only connection to this world to an assassin’s bullet hits me where I live. Rikki is an odd combination of street hero and world player. With Steve back in the picture and an odd maternal sentiment from the Black Widow, Rikki is finding her way in a world that’s doing the same.

Best New Ongoing:

New Avengers by Bendis and Immonen

Though not actually “new”, it’s the Heroic Age, a new team, renumbered, and simply because of the last issue, it earned a spot on my list. If the New Avengers sat around having brunch all day and divvied up chores to clean the mansion, I’d be happy. Also, how do I NOT include the team that has 5 female members?(Yes, I’m counting Doreen.) This is Bendis at his most charming and Immonen at his best. Also, Dr. Strange in a turtleneck.

Best Series That Was Cancelled and Marvel Will Rue The Day Etc. Etc. Etc. :

Thor: The Mighty Avenger by Roger Langridge & Chris Samnee

There are no words to describe my ire at this situation. By and large, I have never been a Thor fan. I found Thor-speak to be somewhat tiresome and I can take only so many frost giants. This book changed my mind. I bought the first issue and fell in love with the world Langridge and Samnee created. Thor: TMA introduces beloved characters in a charming and whimsical manner. I blame you. I blame you people so much that are not reading this book. It’s your fault. Also, I’m going to blame Quesada, too. Remember OMIT? Yeah, I thought you did. I suffered through that and you take away Thor: TMA?

For shame. It’s a crime this series was not allowed to wrap-up, because God knows, everyone was just CLAMORING for that Ultimate Thor book.

Goodbye, sweet prince.

Best One-Shot:

Rescue by DeConnick & Mutti

This should have been retitled, I’m Pepper Fucking Potts. What the fuck have you done today? I loved this. I love Pepper Potts. Pepper’s internal struggle and coming to terms with herself is not an uncommon issue among people, I’d wager. Kelly Sue shows Pepper learning that she doesn’t need to become someone smarter, better, faster, or stronger: she already is.

Ongoing I’m Looking Forward To:

Spider-Girl by Tobin & Henry

This title… where to begin? I adore it for various reasons. Firstly, Anya is adorable. I want to take her shopping and tell her everything is going to be okay, and discuss reality television. Secondly, Tobin is doing something that appeals to me on a MASSIVE level. Using a multi-media approach to the comic (think SOTE, but better!), Tobin seamlessly combined social media (twitter) and comic books. I follow Spider-Girl on the Twitter, and while I *know* she is a fictional character, Tobin brings her alive by these ridiculously earnest tweets. After a ballsy second issue, I am now more than ever invested in the life and times of Spider-Girl.

Best Movie Adaptation:

You can just go here for more details.

Best TV Adaptation:

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes

This is an absolutely fantastic cartoon which doesn’t fall into the origin story plot hole of doom. Starting with a series of micro-episodes about characters and their origins, the series set up a wonderful première reminiscent of the Breakout arc of the old New Avengers and the delightfully classic air of the Silver Age Avengers. There is a pleasant abundance of female characters in the cartoon that kick righteous ass. As a self-admitted member of Team Carol and Team Bobbi, seeing some of my favorite female characters animated reduces me to child-like glee. Even Jan, a founding Avenger that I’ve never been particularly fond of, has won my heart. Granted, I will never like Hank Pym, but he is about 82% more palatable in this series. Iceberg Cap is also a pleasant surprise and it will be interesting to see him adapt to his current situation. Also, MODOK t-rex arm jokes never get old. Ever.

.gif from an enterprising soul on the tumblr

You are a very awesome little girl for several reasons. First of all, your mom rocks. Seriously. Her article about you galvanized an entire group of girls (and some guys) to let you know that it’s okay to like Star Wars. In fact, not only is it okay to like Star Wars, it’s pretty much awesome to like Star Wars. I’m one of those people, Katie. I’m totally awesome and I like Star Wars just as much as you do. You know who else is awesome? Bonnie Burton, Ashley Eckstein, Catherine Taber, Jill Pantozzi, and Felicia Day among hundreds (thousands!) of other girls that like Star Wars that I count as having a 100% rating of supreme awesome.

You wanna know another reason you’re awesome? It’s pretty simple, but you’re incredibly brave. For months you brought your Star Wars water bottle to school and faced your friends head on when they bullied you, or said that girls can’t and shouldn’t like Star Wars. Guess what, Katie! I wasn’t brave like you. It was only very recently that I decided to start letting people know that I liked Star Wars. In fact, I still worry when I tell someone that I like love Star Wars. There’s always a slight hesitation and I’m terrified of some sort of snap judgement to this day, but that’s okay because you inspire me, Katie. Your actions demonstrated a sense of self that I envy, so I think I’m going to be more like you from now on. And, Katie? It’s not just about Star Wars. You’ve got to embrace everything about yourself. You wear glasses? Me too! Is your mom amazing? So is mine! Can you like the color pink AND Star Wars? Sure. You know why it’s okay? Because it’s what you like and you should never, ever compromise yourself to “fit in”.

Oh, and the last reason you’re awesome? YOU HAVE YOUR OWN HASHTAG AND I AM SO JEALOUS. Seriously, I’ve been trying for over a year now!

Katie, I hope with sentiments from perfect strangers that you’re feeling a little less alone out there in the jungle that is first grade, but I’m not worried: you can handle it.

xoxo,

Mandy B.

Ps. When you’re ready for comics tweet me, and I’ll hook a sister up!

I love this shirt. I love this shirt because it validates my fascination with the relationship between Darth Vader and Leia Organa — or Anakin and Leia Amidala Skywalker as I often like to think of them.

I love the dynamic between Vader/Anakin and Luke. It is an exploration of expectation and reality, of desire and disappointment, of sacrifice and redemption. It’s operatic. It’s tragic. It’s cathartic. It’s beautiful.

And then there’s Leia. It’s clear in the opening scenes of A New Hope Vader and Leia have a history. She’s not afraid of him and he’s annoyed by her. I’ve heard people wonder why he doesn’t recognize her, or at least recognize something familiar in her. But a) Anakin is almost purely Vader in A New Hope; he is barely human except in his confrontation with Obi-wan, and them only if you are looking for it. And b) Leia is not so much like Padme. She’s more like Anakin. She bends all the rules (she is the leader of a revolutionary army), she refuses to back down or fail, she is haughty and commanding and sometimes cruel (“Walking Carpet”, what?). I can easily imagine young Leia being a saucy little brat who runs up past all her peers as they cower in fear of Darth Vader and loudly proclaiming he doesn’t scare her! But whatever their earlier interactions were, they were antagonistic. There is no love lost here.

And then he tortures her. And holds her captive while she watches her planet be blown up. And chases her down at least three times. And captures her again. And tortures her again. And tortures her boyfriend. And sticks her boyfriend in carbon freeze. And sells her carbon freezed boyfriend to a bounty hunter. And tries to kill her best friend who is secretly her brother and also secretly his son which makes her secretly his daughter but no one seems to think this is worth thinking about too hard and when he finally does figure it out the FIRST thing he thinks of is how to use her in his plot to Rule The Galaxy.

Anakin is obsessed with his son. Everything he does in Empire Strikes Back is done with the intention of finding Luke. And not to kill him, but to get him back. His daughter he unknowingly but consistently uses, abuses, and tries to kill.

But then, his final words are about her.

Tell your sister.

Tell your sister you were right — there is still good in me — I’m more than the monster she grew up with. I was the hero that you loved when you were a boy. I was a Jedi. I was Anakin Skywalker. I am Anakin Skywalker and I love you. Tell her.

Leia’s father is Bail Organa. And I wouldn’t take that away from her (or him). But I do love that t-shirt.

Follow me on Twitter @MagnetGirl

In Episode One, Padme is Leia. She is a young royal from a small, peaceful planet. She has high ideals and a strong will. She gives orders and makes battle plans. She makes a desperate appeal, cheers up the protagonist, and presides over a medal ceremony. Little Leia-loving me thinks “Yay!”. But the rest of me thinks “Yawn”. And the card carrying feminist me is a bit insulted. A universe populated by cookie cutter “strong” women is not really so much better than a universe populated by cookie cutter “weak” women. I like the idea of Padme and Leia being similar, but I am not so excited by the idea of Padme and Leia being the same.

Luckily for me, in Episode Two Padme moves away from the Leia archetype and in Episode Three she becomes someone unrecognizable from her daughter and her younger self. Throughout the series of three movies Padme fades away before our eyes. And for this she is met with a lot of derision from fans. But I love Padme. All of her.

It is clear to me now that the Republic no longer functions.

I quote this line all the time, especially this time of year. I hate election season as much as the newsies and pundits love it. But it is a very important moment in Star Wars and it is significant that Padme says it. Not because it makes Padme the scapegoat for everything that follows, and a victim of Senator Palpatine’s manipulation, but because it adds a layer to her character that has nothing to do with Anakin and only peripherally to do with Palpatine. As Padme fades through the trilogy so does the Republic. Just as the Empire grows in power as Anakin does. In the later trilogy they switch: the Empire and Anakin fall away as the Republic (in the entity of the Rebellion) and Padme (in the person of Luke) regain control. Padme does set everything in motion with her Vote of No Confidence and she is manipulated into it. But Palpatine is the great manipulator, that’s his role and he plays it well. He manipulates everyone. When he finally fails it is because Luke is his mother’s son.

My favourite rule in chess is the one where a pawn becomes a queen if it manages to cross the whole board. Padme starts the game as a queen. In The Phantom Menace and The Attack of the Clones she plays an aggressively defensive game. In Revenge of the Sith she becomes cornered and chooses to sacrifice herself to protect her king (Anakin). In A New Hope Luke enters the game as a pawn. He is talented but untrained and impetuous, for every win there is also a loss, but the other pieces protect him because they know if he makes it across the board, they have their best chance at winning it all. In Return of the Jedi, when Luke refuses to be Palpatine’s pawn — the way his father had been all these years — he becomes the queen. And in doing so, in making the same choice Padme had made on the day of his birth, he catches Palpatine in his own trap. Anakin is free to win the game.

So this is how liberty dies; with thunderous applause.

Padme’s fate is entwined with that of the Republic. It is clear in her dialogue. It is clear in her costumes — she is nearly always wearing layers, and ostentatious trappings. When she is not it is because “the Republic does not exist here” — on Tatooine, Geonosis, or Mustafar. Her clothes are as overdone and unwieldy — if beautiful — as are the politics of the Republic she serves. If we follow the symbolism to its conclusion, when she dies on that lonely asteroid it is not simply because she can’t deal with Anakin’s betrayal. It is because in (symbolic) truth, she is already dead. The thunderous applause of the Senate broke her just as much as her husband’s force-choking did. The combination kills her.

And I touched on it but let me be explicit now: Padme makes the choice to die. Anakin killing her would not make her a stronger character. Anakin killing her would not make it a stronger story. Padme makes the choice to die. To sacrifice herself. Not for her children — if she was doing any of this for her children she would have chosen to live. And not for her politics, or her ideals, or herself. Padme makes the choice to die for her husband. She can’t join him, that would go against everything she stands for. She can’t fight him, she made that choice back in Attack of the Clones when she agreed to marry him. She can’t talk him out of it, she tried and failed. She does the only thing left to her (or so she believes in that moment). She dies. If protecting her was what drove Anakin to this horror then she will take herself out of the equation. It’s not necessarily the right choice or a good choice. It’s not the choice I would make. But it is her choice. She owns it and we shouldn’t condemn her for being wrong or being weak unless we are also going to condemn everyone else in the movie. And I believe to do that would be missing the point. It is an entire film, an entire trilogy, of wrong and weak choices. Maybe that’s why so many people hate the prequels. They succeed in telling their story and their story is SAD. It has to be, that’s the only way the original trilogy works.

Is Padme a strong character in terms of strength of character? Probably not. But is Padme a strong character in terms of purpose? I say yes, at least as much as anyone in Star Wars whose name isn’t Anakin Skywalker is. Star Wars has a great deal more depth of story than character — and that’s okay, we all still love it and the characters. So in the context of Star Wars characters, I say Padme is a strong one.

Follow me on Twitter @MagnetGirl

I did not like The Clone Wars the first time I saw it. It felt like 90 minutes of constant battle punctuated by a bratty padawan I didn’t want to acknowledge in canon and a baby Hutt. The best and equally most absurd part was the Hutt drag queen who owned a night club. Excuse me, that requires capslock: THE HUTT DRAG QUEEN WHO OWNED A NIGHT CLUB. I just didn’t get it. And as a consequence I ignored most of the first season of the television series. I would only watch if Padme was in the episode and Ahsoka — by merely existing — continued to annoy me.

But then something happened. Either it got better, or I got over whatever it was keeping me from enjoying it, or some combination of both — but I started to care. Flashforward to now and after the most recent episode I said “Ahsoka is too good a character to fill her place in the surrounding saga”. The way it plays out she is relegated to insignificance by the filmed Episodes 3-6 and where she is now, she deserves better. I don’t want Anakin’s story messed up and I don’t love Ahsoka more than Anakin (loving any character more than Anakin is a mathematical improbability for me). But I do love her.

The genius of Episode 3.7 Assassin is found in the references to the films:

All these nods suggest this episode, possibly this arc of the series (the whole series?), should be viewed in relation to the saga as a whole and particularly to the journeys of first Anakin and then Luke (or first Luke and then Anakin depending on your point of view on how Star Wars should be watched). And Ahsoka is the parallel protagonist, Padme is the parallel teacher and Aurra is the parallel antagonist. Contrast that with Leia being the only named female in A New Hope and you see why Ahsoka matters to me as a Star Wars mommy.

But the episode, and the series, is poignant for one other reason — watching Ahsoka’s relationship with both Anakin and Padme gives me a glimpse of what is most lost when Anakin turns and Padme dies: Luke and Leia’s parents.

–
Follow me on Twitter @MagnetGirl

The winner of the contest, interestingly enough, was myself and this should be a lesson: Never jokingly nominate a piss-poor name for a pet to the wilds of the online. It will be chosen and you will reap the consequences.

Porn Star Angle: Garm Bel IbFISH

Thanks to all who nominated potential Christian names for my fish. Also, thanks, trolls, for embarrassing me until the fish dies.